Thursday, September 17, 2015

Las Vegas: A Change of Heart

September 7, 2014
I went to bed on Saturday with a very heavy heart. How could I even think about using cannabis? What was I even doing here? We had felt so good about coming; we felt like we had really been led here...but I couldn't wrap my mind around how this could possibly be right. On Sunday I woke up and my head was still whirling. I was really hoping to get answers soon.

We went to church that morning fasting and praying for direction. It was honestly one of the nicest wards I’ve ever been to. Everyone introduced themselves to us and helped us find our seats and were so welcoming. After church we met the stake president’s wife, Melanie (names changed). She has 6 kids and was just called to be the Primary President.

Oh, and she was using cannabis to fight brain cancer.

I couldn't believe it. Here we were, fasting and praying about cannabis...we walk into church and meet the stake president's wife who was using it. It seemed too big of a coincidence to not be a sign that Heavenly Father was aware of me and my questions and concerns.

I felt a bright goodness about Melanie as she briefly told me her story. Her brother is a doctor at the Mayo clinic so her entire family was very medically minded and against the “natural” way of healing. She talked about the importance of energy work, faith, and forgiveness in healing. She told me how every week her husband would drive their family to California so she could go see a special natural healing doctor. The doctor asked her, “Why do you want cancer? Something in your life has attracted this.” At first she was offended that he would suggest she wanted the cancer. But then she began to seriously consider if there really was a hidden part of her that wanted it. She could see things her life that probably did attract the disease. She said to me, “Your journey with cancer was going to be amazing. Be very grateful for it.” I was actually glad that someone was excited about it- it gave me a lot of hope. She said, “We decide on a cellular level if we will triumph. You must use the atonement on a cellular level.”

That night, Melanie and a few other ladies came over to Rachel’s and we did a one minute group meditation. This was new for me-- I can't say that I've ever meditated before. She asked us to picture a bright light coming out of us. I could not get a light out of me. I couldn’t form the picture in my head. She asked us to share our experience and I admitted it was hard for me to picture it. I could get sparks but not a lot of light to flow. She said as I practice I would get better at it. (It could also mean there are blockages I need to work through.)

Then she pulled out all of these yummy treats and foods that I could actually eat. I was so excited. There was beet kvass (I drank a whole quart), kambucha, and Rachels daughter made these amazing no bake cookies and baked potatoes that were so wonderful.
Drinking Beat Kvass and Kombucha

I met so many great women at Rachel's. Normal women, like me. Wives and mothers. Women who loved God. Women who struggled with health and had found help in something called cannabis. At the end of that night we had felt like Heavenly Father had really answered our prayers. I went home knowing that this was the direction I was going to go.